Ben's leaving

My son Benjamin Terrell Morson took himself away from us last weekend by hanging himself from a tree. Why he did this I do not know, and probably never will, 'cause that is usually the big unknown in suicide; that and the realization that Ben may have been the Big Unknown himself. Ben had been estranged from me for most of the last five years, for reasons I do not know. It is my hope that his friends who knew him better than I more recently, can and will shed light on this estrangement. I intend to write more about him, but it must suffice now to say I loved him very much, and that I believe that I demonstrated that to him. But if I did not adequately demonstrate it to him, I tried, but so much of the time I had no audience in him. At this time I can say that he had a willing audience in me, but he chose, not to perform for this audience: not to hear the applause, (and yes, very seldom, the boo's) ; chose not to see the ovations. The hurt is that I have missed and will miss him, this, maybe the only time around.